TikTok’s Hugely Popular ‘Old Gays’ Shows a New Way To Age
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Old Gays, the cadre of hugely popular grandfluencers on TikTok, are changing and sharing a new blueprint for what retirement could look like in the future.
By 2030, 70 million people in the United States will be over 65 years old, according to census data; for the first time, the country will have more seniors than children. Most older Americans live alone or with only a partner, according to research from Pew. And they want to stay that way: A recent AARP survey found that 86 percent of people over 65 want to age in place rather than in a care home.
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By the time the Old Gays started posting on TikTok, in December 2020, the four men already had half a century of friendship between them. Mr. Reeves and Mr. Lyons met in San Francisco in the 1980s. In 2013, Mr. Peterson answered Mr. Reeves’s Craigslist ad for a room in a gay-friendly, nudist-friendly home. In 2014, Mr. Martin moved into a house across the street.
@oldgays Go shorty it’s your #birthday ♬ original sound – The Old Gays
A few years later, a younger neighbor, Ryan Yezak, 35, who’d gotten to chatting with the men during his Saturday morning dog walks, suggested they film a few videos for Grindr, where Mr. Yezak worked. Soon, though, the men were ready to take their talents to a bigger platform.
Today, they have 7.1 million followers on TikTok and a few hundred thousand on Instagram, among them Rihanna, Jessica Alba, Rosie O’Donnell, Drew Barrymore and Lance Bass. They meet up by the pool each weekday around 10:30 a.m., rehearsing and shooting videos that Mr. Yezak edits and posts.
For the outfit transformation, the men stripped down to their good underwear, grabbed gold cardboard letters (spelling G-L-A-M) and lined up by the pool. Between takes, they wore wide-brimmed hats to stave off the 95-degree heat.
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“People like the underwear videos a lot, for some reason,” Mr. Yezak said, waiting for his iPhone to cool down so he could film.
Mr. Lyons said, “It’s because we’re half-nude!” He was wearing low-rise black briefs and loafers, and holding up a bedazzled G.
“Yes, we have our family moments,” Mr. Martin said. “But I genuinely care for this little unit.”
The Role of a Lifetime
Adi Azran, 27, a content producer at Flighthouse Media, a studio that makes TikTok videos, felt like he’d reached a creative epiphany last June when he showed his colleague Brandon Chase, 25, a video by @ourfilipinograndma, in which said grandma delivered a pickup line to the tune of 12.3 million views.
@oldgaysLET’S HAVE A KIKI 🦓♬ Let’s Have A Kiki – Scissor Sisters
So, what do you get when you give six elders and two young producers a ring light and a platform on TikTok? The Retirement House’s videos are more silly than shocking: lip-syncing trending songs, playing practical jokes on each other. And though the scenes are still a bit scripted, they’re a departure from the actors’ previous roles.
Gaylynn Baker, 85, started her acting career at 19, when she moved from small-town Texas to New York City and joined the chorus on “The Steve Allen Show” in the 1950s. Sixty-five years later, she’s finally found her big break, performing goofy stunts for six-second videos watched on smartphones around the world, at a time in life when most people no longer want to be working.
@oldgays Digging the dancing queens? 👸 @Paula Abdul #dance ♬ original sound – musicquotes
“The irony, of course, is that we’re in Retirement House, but I don’t have anything to retire from,” she said. “I’m having a great time.”
Rewriting the Script for Old Age
On a recent Thursday at the Retirement House — a Hollywood set rented by the hour — there were two shoots going on. In the kitchen, Chuck Lacey, 70, and Jerry Boyd, 76, ate miracle berries before tasting an array of sour foods on camera, reacting to lemon slices and Warheads made sweet. (Mr. Boyd, to camera: “You sweet on me? Take one of these pills, and you’ll be sour on me.”)
On the back patio, Patti Yulish, 81, performed a rap as Mr. Azran translated internet slang for her. (“Bubbe,” he said, using her character name, “do you know what ‘sneaky links’ means?”)
@oldgays “I’ve had a broken internet” 🤣 #break #the #internet ♬ original sound – The Old Gays
The silly group antics of the Retirement House are a welcome counterpoint to stories of isolated elders quietly diminishing in nursing homes during the pandemic. “You see so many stories of older people that are not happy, because as you get older, you lose friends, you lose relatives, you don’t have people to share your life with,” said Reatha Grey, 72. “We’re actually building shared memories together — and it’s on videotape.”
In many ways, Mr. Azran and Mr. Chase act as stand-ins for Retirement House’s young viewers. They’re producers, but they’re also 20-somethings who went on a Virgin Voyages cruise to the Bahamas with a group of seniors. “All my grandparents live in Israel, so I’ve never spent much time with older folks,” Mr. Azran said. “Now I’m filling that void a little bit, realizing that they’re like us, just a little bit more experienced.”
The TikTok account has told its fans “that they don’t have to take the usual route into being old,” Ms. Baker said. “Maybe it’s time for us to start getting older in a different way.”
Retirement House, for all its artifice, presents a version of aging full of novelty and active curiosity. “It’s not a home, where you need care and somebody to cook for you and bring you your pills,” Ms. Yulish said. “This is a group of older people who are perfectly capable of doing everything on their own, and having a lot of fun while they’re doing it.”
