I met 29 year-old Denis in the Telegram chat room Гей Украина  | Знакомств (Gay Ukraine | Dating) on Sunday evening.

[Editorial note: I left much of the conversation as is from Instant messaging]

He responded to my post looking to speak to gay men in the Ukraine to get a sense of what the mood was like. Denis lives in  Zaporizhzhia. It’s a city in the northeast corner of Ukraine.

Above: Zaporizhzhia  at night prior to the Russian Invasion.

It’s basically where you don’t want to be right now. Situated on the banks of the Dnieper which connects to the Black Sea, It is the administrative centre of the Zaporizhzhia Oblast (or region). Zaporizhzhia has or had a population of 722,713 as of 2021.

It  is known for its island of Khortytsia and Dnieper Hydroelectric Station (below). It is also an important industrial center producing steel, aluminium, aircraft engines, automobiles, transformers for substations, and other heavy industry goods.

On Sunday it was hot spot and a vector for large convoys of Russian troops entering the country. If you look it up now, even on its Wikipedia page, it’s known as  for the “Battle of  Zaporizhzhia” in the current increasingly global Ukraine War. Securing the station was a goal of the Russians and already Turkish news services were claiming it had been seized. I asked Denis and he said he didn’t know for certain, but he didn’t believe so.

I don’t now. I hope not.

Are you fighting?

We try to create obstacles to Russian in my city so it will be very difficult to came here

Had you served in the military prior to that?

No, I’m at home. I just help with me, my mom and neighbors.  Sometimes I use Google translate but I understand mostly

Yeah I just was trying to get a sense of the week looks horrible from here but I don’t know what it’s like over there

Are you working for LGBTQ in America?

Yes. Based in New York.

Yes whole world now going crazy If you really need I can find representative of LGBTQ in my city who also speak English.

That would rock. I’m just looking to talk as many people as possible.

Ok. I would like to talk with you and stay in touch.

I’ve noticed a lot of mixed opinions about gay life in Ukraine.

About gay rights in Ukraine?

I’ve read about the law but how do you feel? 

it is better than in Russia but it is still homophobic country.
But who knows, if we win…
Maybe it will change.

Is Zelenskyy good on gay issues? He seems to be very libertarian.

I live middle size city my guess it is around 700,000 people. He is better than previous presidents yes. But we don’t have any gay clubs.

How do you feel about him?

Where do you guys hang out? Grindr like everywhere else? 

I support him, especially now, but he stays in capital but he is target number one.

No. Grindr is not so popular in Ukraine, in Ukraine is more popular Hornet app.

Is your family religious? And feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if you think I’m asking anything too personal.

Not so really, but my mom still kinda homophobic.

So is mine.

I want to be friends and talk with you time to time. Western Ukraine is more pro west but also more orthodox Christian and in general more homophobic.

I’m not surprised. Like I said I think it’s everywhere you going to find some. So much of the US is not safe. In terms of I wouldn’t like kiss someone most part of the US. And I’m not surprised. The west is close to Poland and Poland is the most religions countries in western world.

I think New York is safe, and big democratic cities.

I’m Ukrainian but have a little bit Poland roots.

What’s daily  life like under martial law?

Public transport works difficult. We currently can not go outside after 7pm until 6am. In our stores shelfs almost empty. We try to go to shelter every time we hear alarm. We try to help our military. I remember read there some difficulties with AIDS medicine for HIV+ people.

Above: Ukraine defenses in Zaporizhzhia.

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Above: Khortitsa, Zaporizhzhia, Zaporizhia Oblast, Ukraine Unsplash License ???? Check out my Instagram @Maksym.Tymchyk

The next time we IMd Denis told me that the represenative of the local LGBT  organization told him that they do not have time talk to press right now, that their priority was LGBT people in danger in Ukraine.

I told him how I’d never seen the western powers galvanize around they way have around Ukraine.

The whole world it seemed.

“Thank you,” he said. He then asked me:

My understanding it is your site and it about news and LGBTQ life in general?

Yes. And nerdy stuff. So comics, art, and news etc

Technology?

Yes. That too

Cool. I like tech. alt news with a nerdy edge.
Nice. There is a lot of nerds now

Then he sent me the following picture.

Is this for real?

I tell him it’s the replica in France.

Still cool

I was learning English very often by watching American television and news (I know young people do not watch it) and have “cable” from local channels in NYC like WABC.

@politicalamericax In #Berdyansk, #Zaporizhzhia region, south #Ukraine, the #Russia ♬ original sound – political americaxxx

I thank you and everyone on the west that do not forget about my country

And it is quiet awesome that Russia still do not have us

We have some power

@lucky_kray Berdyansk, Zaporizhzhia – Mother explained that we don’t need their peace! #morher #war #ukraine #nft ♬ оригинальный звук – Lucky_Kray

I explain that Ukraine is a big part of Europe and  I don’t understand why some people don’t know that. I also my family is from Poland and Greece so of course I know. Even if it stop now,  it’s been horrible what Russia has done.

I hope Ukraine could join Europe family.

I hope Russia get rid of Putin.

Democrats or Republicans?

They’re going to get him there gonna get all the oligarchs. They’ll start Some kind of democratic republic Ukraine will be at the center of it. Everyone is very angry. It’s a slap in the face everyone.

I hope I really hope

He’s a criminal. They should’ve gotten rid of them all time ago They let it fester. That it got to this point.

Yes, now they suffer from Putin in Russia too

cool.
and you know, I just have to ask
If there any possibility to help to go to America (probably after war, because now currently Ukrainian government do not allow to man from 18 to 60 to live the country) I would like to go to America

Hopefully it’s over soon.

But if you one day you know some way or someone to can help me with it
I would really appreciate. You know Ukraine is till extremely poor country and quiet homophobic one.

What does America mean to you? Why does it inspire you so much?

America is like road movie.  Big Tech and corporations in general.
Open possibilities. It is like you are 16 years old again and everything is possible.
Big road, cars, homes, people, everything. Suburbia!!!! (All those nice homes) (in Russia and Ukraine there is even meme about it).
And big buildings.
Christmas.
Time square as real cross road of the world ????.
But also inequality, your zip code depends on your future (it is a little bit different in Ukraine and Europe)
Divided society because only two parties who tearing country apart.

 Oprah once said ‘You are already blessed if you were born in America’ I would give anything to live there.

I laughed at his mention of Oprah.

Hmm
Freedom of choice.

What choice?

To go and feel free Express feeling.

The rest is a sort of free associations he has about America, some negative, but ultimately hopeful. It’s humbling and endearing to hear.

Commercial everywhere, and on TV (and you have to pay for it, it isn’t free) there is commercial every almost 5 minutes
(Again in Ukraine, Russia, Europe or UK not so).

No maternity leave!! (Even in Africa they have it)
Healthy care.
Extremely expensive education.

So it is a lot more for business not for people
But is also gives many possibilities (you can be anything) and it is really possible
In Europe it is not so…
From very beginning America fight for freedom and possibilities to be free from royal and blue blood (everybody is equal) you can do it on your own but in Europe in those times you had to be blue blood.
I hope you understand me.

I do. Hey can I ask you another question? One thing I find strange is how willing you and your countrymen seem to be to die for your country. I understand the situation, but it seems a bit nihilistic to me. How do you feel that assessment?

Creepy. I don’t know it is up to you to decide. Actually I’m here in the east of Ukraine now in situation almost ready to ask you for money to help me go to west of Ukraine(on the border with Poland and to be there) because here in couple days probably will start to be hot.

So you don’t feel that desire?

I do not want to die

RELATED: Gay Ukrainians Volunteer To Battle Putin’s Anti-LGBT Russian Oppression 

The next time we chatted was Tuesday night. March 1st.

I received the following message around 9pm.

He’d told me when we started chatting that because of the invasion and martial law he and many other people couldn’t go to work and money was running out. I asked him how much it cost to go to Poland and he said total travel cost would be about $400. I planned on getting the money to him and he was going to send me a link. He never did.

I looking at dark streets outside of my city now and I know that Russian troops in my region already, and many people already left. I thought that I could sit here, but after I saw the footage of the Russian military entering the city in the city to the South of me, grabbing civilians and using them as human protection, I no longer want to stay here. Now I’m going to sleep and then pack my things. From what I learned, the only working option to transfer money fast now and get in Ukraine currently is Western Union.

Goodnight.

I haven’t heard from him yet. I hope he’s okay. I know the situation has gotten worse. The last thing I thought I’d share is that he wanted me to publish his photo and real name despite possible retaliation after the war.

I am Denis, 29 years old from Ukraine who is learning English and interesting in understanding America. 🙂

UPDATE: Gaynrd was able to re-establish contact with Denis. You can donate to OutRight international here.

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